Am I Ready Yet?

The time between pre-op and surgery seemed to FLY by... but the time between post-op and therapy seems to be dragging on. I'm not saying that I don't enjoy missing work and sitting around doing nothing but after the first week or so, it gets a little boring. (I know when I get back to work, I'll kick myself for uttering such nonsense.)

I went back up to NJ earlier this week to get my blood test done. Five very large vials later, I went home and loaded up on sugar. (Meringue cookies are awesome! They give you the crunch like you're eating a real cookie but since it's just sugar and egg whites, it's on the approved list!) Pending the results of my blood test, I'll be interviewed for radioactive iodine therapy.

I hope to be radioactive by next week if things go well. The sooner the better. Let's get me off this low iodine, crazy diet ASAP!

Iodine is delicious

In preparation for the radioactive iodine therapy, I've been instructed to follow a low-iodine diet.
It may be the most frustrating, unappetizing, depressing diet ever.

First of all, the information given to me by doctors is very vague. I don't know what I can and cannot eat. When I turn to the Internet for more clarification, there are enough discrepancies to drive a person mad. No eggs at all, egg whites are okay. All fruits and vegetables are fine, don't eat soybeans, broccoli and spinach. Absolutely no seafood, fresh fish allowed. No dairy, 1/2 cup of dairy okay. What am I supposed to believe? I might as well just not eat anything at all.

Secondly, I used to enjoy food shopping and eating. Now, my life consists of label reading, throwing up my hands and putting the box back. Try food shopping for anything that doesn't have salt, eggs, soy or dairy products. Just try it... It's infuriating. I look at food and immediately think, no I can't eat that. It has salt in it. No. Eggs. No. Milk. Just the sight of food and I lose my appetite.

I've been eating a steady diet of bell peppers, pumpkin, watermelon, apples, asparagus, raw unsalted almonds, mushrooms... seeing a pattern? On the plus side, I get to have marshmallows!

For other people going through this, I've complied a list. It's not an official list and I'm not by any means an expert. But it's what I've been following...

Low-Iodine Diet

AVOID:

• Iodized salt, sea salt, all foods that have iodized salt and sea salt (this includes kimchee)
• Seafood including kelp, seaweed
• Egg yolks, all foods including egg yolks
• Dairy products (milk, cheese, yogurt, butter, ice cream, chocolate)
• Soybeans and other beans (kidney beans, lima beans, pinto beans)
• Soy products (soy sauce, soy milk, tofu)
• Any commerical baked goods (breads, cakes, muffins, doughnuts)

I'll keep updating...

"The Best Cancer"

Apparently, if you're gonna have cancer, this is the best one to have. Nothing but the best for me!

I was diagnosed with Papillary Thyroid Carcinoma which is just a fancy way of saying thyroid cancer.

It's funny all the advanced terminology doctors have to use... It started as just a "lump" then was referred to as a "nodule" then became a "tumor" then was found to be "malignant" before I knew it, my doctor was telling me I had "cancer." My little "lump" was having a full on identity crisis.

I didn't know what to think. People hear cancer and think they're going to die. I didn't think that. Or at least not until my doctor said to me, "it's not like you're going to DIE. People don't DIE from thyroid cancer." Well, that's comforting.

My doctor explained that thyroid cancer is not like most cancers and is the most curable. "If you're going to have cancer, this is the one to get." Thanks, but I'd rather not have it at all, if that's okay with you. But he did his best to make it seem like no big deal. And I believed him. I figured it was just going to be one operation to take the stupid stinker out and that'll be all. Go back to work in a couple days, have a small scar, no biggie. I didn't even refer to it as cancer. Just this "thing" that needed to come out.

But he suggested I bring in the family to discuss matters further. I had told my family in the same manner that he told me. Light and breezy, nothing too serious. To my surprise, with my family crammed into a small examination room waiting on pins and needles, he had a completely different tone. Serious, calcuating, cautious... where was light and breezy? He recited statistics and percentages, measurements and ratios, risks and precautions. My family and I walked out of the room slightly less confident than when we walked in.

The no biggie scenario turned into at least 3-4 weeks out of work, potentially losing my voice, radioactive iodine therapy, isolation for at least a couple days during therapy, 5 years of constant check ups and blood tests, and hormone pill to be taken every day for the rest of my life.

Crazy how things can turn on a dime. But it is what it is and before I knew it, it was surgery day. Anxiously, I packed an overnight bag for the hospital. My family was eagerly trying to help me with anything and everything. I could feel the sense of helplessness from my father. He didn't know what to do so he "helped" by demanding everyone eat something. In true Korean family fashion, force feed to show you care.

Once at the hospital, I changed into my very stylish hospital gown and waited for my turn to be wheeled away into surgery. Finally, my time came... They brought me into the OR. It was very different than what I saw on TV. The last thing I remember was a mask coming towards my face. I woke up to my family around me. It's all hazy now but I remember faces, flowers, commotion. I tried to speak and sound came out! I no longer had a thyroid but I still had my voice!

So now I sit here, thyroid-less but also cancer-less.... truly the best cancer.

Intro...

A friend told me that it might be helpful to keep a journal of everything that's happening. That it'll help me sort out my thoughts and feelings and might even be therapeutic for me.

Maybe.... let's give it a shot.

I have cancer.
Corrrection: I HAD cancer.... i hope.