Today is the last day of "official" isolation!!! Yippee!
Starting tomorrow I can venture outside and be around people. I still have to be careful of small children and pregnant women for a while longer. And just to be on the safe side, I don't want anyone to touch me for another few days. So I'll be around people but at a safe distance. If you see me within in the next few days, please don't take it personally if I just wave from a distance. Haha!
I'm going to stick around in Jersey for another couple of days then probably head down to PA on Tuesday. That depends on if I can get in touch with my doctor and get him to prescribe me some hormones. I need em. I need em badly.
I feel great today. Maybe because I see the light at the end of the tunnel. Maybe because I got my voice back. Maybe just because the way I'm thinking is different now. Maybe all of these things.
In any case... it's going to be a good day. :)
Time for "breakfast"! Haha... man, I'm going to miss sleeping in once I go back to work.
Sunday, July 25, 2010
Saturday, July 24, 2010
Radioactive: Day 5
Last night we had a really big storm. Lightning, thunder, rain that pounded on my windows. I loved it. It was like a jolt to get me out of my funk. I also had conversations with my family.
Why am I sitting around feeling sorry for myself? I'm better than that.
I still have the feeling of nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite, etc. but those things are not going to go away right now because I'm so hypo. I can't really change that.
What I can change is how I think about it. So I'm changing.
I'm changing my outlook and I'm changing my approach. I've been looking at therapy as the enemy. It's not. It's the help. I need to help it help me. (Whoa, did I just quote Jerry Maguire?)
Here's the new game plan. More water, more food, more positivity... most of all less bitching. I'm tired of it. I think the complaining and bitching is what's taking more energy than anything else. Energy I should be using to get myself better.
So let's go, radioiodine. Let's kill this thing once and for all...
Why am I sitting around feeling sorry for myself? I'm better than that.
I still have the feeling of nausea, fatigue, loss of appetite, etc. but those things are not going to go away right now because I'm so hypo. I can't really change that.
What I can change is how I think about it. So I'm changing.
I'm changing my outlook and I'm changing my approach. I've been looking at therapy as the enemy. It's not. It's the help. I need to help it help me. (Whoa, did I just quote Jerry Maguire?)
Here's the new game plan. More water, more food, more positivity... most of all less bitching. I'm tired of it. I think the complaining and bitching is what's taking more energy than anything else. Energy I should be using to get myself better.
So let's go, radioiodine. Let's kill this thing once and for all...
Friday, July 23, 2010
Radioactive: Day 4
Today I woke up at noon.
Still the same. No voice, nauseous, lack of appetite, sore throat.
I couldn't sleep last night. I was up till 3am. I have dark circles under my eyes and I feel like crap.
I thought maybe some toast would help settle my stomach but every time I open my mouth (or the fridge), I feel like I'm going to throw up.
When I called the hospital, they told me to call my Endocrinologist. When I called my Endocrinologist, an answering service told me they're out to lunch until 2:15. 2 and a half hour lunch... nice.
I guess I'll just try again later. Until then, I'm going to try to eat something... let me rephrase that. I'm going to eat something.
I'll update later... after 2:15, I guess.
Still the same. No voice, nauseous, lack of appetite, sore throat.
I couldn't sleep last night. I was up till 3am. I have dark circles under my eyes and I feel like crap.
I thought maybe some toast would help settle my stomach but every time I open my mouth (or the fridge), I feel like I'm going to throw up.
When I called the hospital, they told me to call my Endocrinologist. When I called my Endocrinologist, an answering service told me they're out to lunch until 2:15. 2 and a half hour lunch... nice.
I guess I'll just try again later. Until then, I'm going to try to eat something... let me rephrase that. I'm going to eat something.
I'll update later... after 2:15, I guess.
Thursday, July 22, 2010
Radioactive: Day 3
I woke up hoping that my sore throat would be better... It's a little better but now I've lost my voice! Not completely but it's hoarse. I'm not sure if it's because of the radiation or because I sleep with the air conditioner on and I've caught a cold or something.
This therapy is worse than post-op. I kicked cancer's ass, but so far therapy is proving to be a much stronger opponent. Isn't therapy supposed to be helping, not hurting?
We'll see how the day progresses. Maybe my voice will loosen up after a shower and breakfast. Although, I have no appetite at all. I have to FORCE myself to eat something. I think being on this low iodine diet for over a month has given me an eating disorder (unintentionally, of course.) I'm never hungry. I eat like a bird. For the past couple of days my meals have consisted of a handful of carrots, water and maybe a piece of fruit. I eat to not faint but that's about it. Even the thought of eating regular food doesn't appeal to me... and I've been looking forward to that for WEEKS! Just thinking about food makes me nauseous and exhausted. So for now, I'm sticking to ice cold water and sour candies. Even though the sour candy is now hurting my tongue.
I'm a mess....
This therapy is worse than post-op. I kicked cancer's ass, but so far therapy is proving to be a much stronger opponent. Isn't therapy supposed to be helping, not hurting?
We'll see how the day progresses. Maybe my voice will loosen up after a shower and breakfast. Although, I have no appetite at all. I have to FORCE myself to eat something. I think being on this low iodine diet for over a month has given me an eating disorder (unintentionally, of course.) I'm never hungry. I eat like a bird. For the past couple of days my meals have consisted of a handful of carrots, water and maybe a piece of fruit. I eat to not faint but that's about it. Even the thought of eating regular food doesn't appeal to me... and I've been looking forward to that for WEEKS! Just thinking about food makes me nauseous and exhausted. So for now, I'm sticking to ice cold water and sour candies. Even though the sour candy is now hurting my tongue.
I'm a mess....
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Radioactive: Day 2
I don't know if it's just in my head but I woke up this morning with a sore throat. It's kind of like I can feel this radioactive stuff working on whatever's left of my thyroid. Kill the bastard, Radioiodine.
Tuesday, July 20, 2010
I'm Radioactive!
After 1 month, 1 week and 6 days after my thyroidectomy, I sit here radioactive!
Last night my sister and I prepped my apartment: covered my sofa and bed, separated my clothes and saran wrapped all my kitchen handles!
No one really explained this process to me in detail. So let me break it down.
I'm not an expert, just a girl feeling her way through this ordeal.
I read a lot of forums and personal experiences online prior to going in for RAI therapy myself. From what I understand, it used to be an in-patient process. However, my hospital doesn't offer admittance for this procedure. Hence is why I had to radioactive-proof my own apartment. While it would've been nice and convenient for me to not have to contaminate my own things, it is very comforting to be in my own apartment. I just have to be very aware of what I touch.
At the hospital, I was taken to the lab to get my pregnancy test done. It's my state's law to conduct a MANDATORY pregnancy test within 48 hours prior to RAI therapy. Once the negative results came, it was a mountain of paperwork. I sat at a tiny desk signing paper after paper stating that I understand the dangers and risks of nuclear medicine and this particular procedure, agreeing to stay away from other people for 6 days, confirming that I've had all my questions answered and am willing to go ahead with RAI therapy. After the last paper was signed, I was given a glove and was told that the radiologist will place the pill in my gloved hand and I should take the pill with the glass of water provided for me. Whoa, it's serious if I need a medical glove to even handle this pill. I was scared of it. What would it look like? Would it be green and glowing or something?
I was receiving 100 mCi (millicuries) of radioactive iodine. I asked my radiologist if this dose was "a lot." She responded like a true medical professional, "it's all relative" but 100 mCi is the standard amount for thyroid cancer patients. Compared to patients with hyperthyroidism, who receive 10 - 15 mCi, it's "a lot." Compared to patients undergoing radiation for other forms of cancer, it's "pennies."
She picked up the tongs and opened a jar while standing safely behind a shield. She brought a tiny bottle towards me and I offered my gloved hand. Out came a tiny white capsule. That's it? This is the pill? It looked like nothing. I looked up to find that the radiologist had now backed away from me at least 4 giant steps. She said from afar, just take the pill with the water on the counter and then you can leave.
I popped the little white capsule in my mouth and downed it with some water. I walked out of the room to find that all the technicians stepped back as I stepped forward. I felt like I had the plague or something. They smiled politely from 5 feet away and waved.
As I walked down the hallway, I was very aware of my personal space. I tried to stay on one side of the hall. After seeing a doctor and technicians back away from me, I began to sense the seriousness of this tiny pill.
I drove myself home wearing gloves and came into my apartment with just advise to not eat for 1 hour and drink plenty of water.
What I learned:
most importantly
NO MORE OF THIS CRAZY DIET~!!!!
Last night my sister and I prepped my apartment: covered my sofa and bed, separated my clothes and saran wrapped all my kitchen handles!
No one really explained this process to me in detail. So let me break it down.
I'm not an expert, just a girl feeling her way through this ordeal.
I read a lot of forums and personal experiences online prior to going in for RAI therapy myself. From what I understand, it used to be an in-patient process. However, my hospital doesn't offer admittance for this procedure. Hence is why I had to radioactive-proof my own apartment. While it would've been nice and convenient for me to not have to contaminate my own things, it is very comforting to be in my own apartment. I just have to be very aware of what I touch.
At the hospital, I was taken to the lab to get my pregnancy test done. It's my state's law to conduct a MANDATORY pregnancy test within 48 hours prior to RAI therapy. Once the negative results came, it was a mountain of paperwork. I sat at a tiny desk signing paper after paper stating that I understand the dangers and risks of nuclear medicine and this particular procedure, agreeing to stay away from other people for 6 days, confirming that I've had all my questions answered and am willing to go ahead with RAI therapy. After the last paper was signed, I was given a glove and was told that the radiologist will place the pill in my gloved hand and I should take the pill with the glass of water provided for me. Whoa, it's serious if I need a medical glove to even handle this pill. I was scared of it. What would it look like? Would it be green and glowing or something?
I was receiving 100 mCi (millicuries) of radioactive iodine. I asked my radiologist if this dose was "a lot." She responded like a true medical professional, "it's all relative" but 100 mCi is the standard amount for thyroid cancer patients. Compared to patients with hyperthyroidism, who receive 10 - 15 mCi, it's "a lot." Compared to patients undergoing radiation for other forms of cancer, it's "pennies."
She picked up the tongs and opened a jar while standing safely behind a shield. She brought a tiny bottle towards me and I offered my gloved hand. Out came a tiny white capsule. That's it? This is the pill? It looked like nothing. I looked up to find that the radiologist had now backed away from me at least 4 giant steps. She said from afar, just take the pill with the water on the counter and then you can leave.
I popped the little white capsule in my mouth and downed it with some water. I walked out of the room to find that all the technicians stepped back as I stepped forward. I felt like I had the plague or something. They smiled politely from 5 feet away and waved.
As I walked down the hallway, I was very aware of my personal space. I tried to stay on one side of the hall. After seeing a doctor and technicians back away from me, I began to sense the seriousness of this tiny pill.
I drove myself home wearing gloves and came into my apartment with just advise to not eat for 1 hour and drink plenty of water.
What I learned:
- most of the radioactive iodine (radioiodine) will be absorbed within 48 hours
- the unused iodine will get flushed out of the body through urine (hence all water drinking), a smaller portion through feces, sweat and saliva
- keeping good hygiene when using the restroom is imperative (this is true even when you're not receiving RAI therapy)
- at the end of treatment, no radioiodine will remain in the system
most importantly
- resume eating normally after 2-3 days after taking the pill...!!!!
NO MORE OF THIS CRAZY DIET~!!!!
Friday, July 9, 2010
No options...
I met with my ENT surgeon and he said my scar is healing nicely. He smiled at his work and asked me how I was doing. How am I doing? I'm tired, I'm depressed, I can't remember anything, I have poor blood circulation, I can't even eat anything I want. How would you be? He says all of this is happening due to my lack of thyroid hormone. It's been a month since my surgery so I've been deprived of this hormone for a while now.
My blood test reflects that my TSH (Thyroid-Stimulating Hormone)Level is high. How high? Normal range is from .40 to 4.50 mIU/L... my TSH level is 139.13! My body is screaming to my non-existent thyroid to make some damn hormones.
I can't take the hormones until I get my Radioactive Iodine therapy. I can't get therapy because I'm waiting for my insurance. I'm waiting for my insurance because my endocrinologist has been dragging his feet. And there is no excuse for my endocrinologist... other than incompetence.
But I finally got the ball rolling with making arrangements for my therapy. So much work to just get 1 pill.
Originally, I thought I would be admitted into the hospital and be in isolation for a couple of days before being released. Apparently, I have to be isolated for 1 week but not at the hospital. The Radioactive Iodine therapy is an outpatient procedure which means I have to go home and contaminate all my own stuff and clean it all later. I don't know why I have to pay the hospital when I'm doing all the work. I take the pill, I go home and take care of myself, then I have to clean everything and live in my apartment which is now contaminated with radiation. What exactly am I paying them for?
I asked them what my other options were if I don't get admitted but I can't be in my own apartment. Their response: go to a hotel. Go to a hotel??? You said stay away from people for a week. Now you want me to go to a hotel and contaminate their facilities while paying them per night out of my own pocket to stay there? How is this responsible?
There has to be a better way... but for the time being, I have no other options.
My blood test reflects that my TSH (Thyroid-Stimulating Hormone)Level is high. How high? Normal range is from .40 to 4.50 mIU/L... my TSH level is 139.13! My body is screaming to my non-existent thyroid to make some damn hormones.
I can't take the hormones until I get my Radioactive Iodine therapy. I can't get therapy because I'm waiting for my insurance. I'm waiting for my insurance because my endocrinologist has been dragging his feet. And there is no excuse for my endocrinologist... other than incompetence.
But I finally got the ball rolling with making arrangements for my therapy. So much work to just get 1 pill.
Originally, I thought I would be admitted into the hospital and be in isolation for a couple of days before being released. Apparently, I have to be isolated for 1 week but not at the hospital. The Radioactive Iodine therapy is an outpatient procedure which means I have to go home and contaminate all my own stuff and clean it all later. I don't know why I have to pay the hospital when I'm doing all the work. I take the pill, I go home and take care of myself, then I have to clean everything and live in my apartment which is now contaminated with radiation. What exactly am I paying them for?
I asked them what my other options were if I don't get admitted but I can't be in my own apartment. Their response: go to a hotel. Go to a hotel??? You said stay away from people for a week. Now you want me to go to a hotel and contaminate their facilities while paying them per night out of my own pocket to stay there? How is this responsible?
There has to be a better way... but for the time being, I have no other options.
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Why So Serious...
My posts have been filled with negativity... bad diets, waiting around, aimlessness.
It doesn't have to be this way.
I found these online... I WANT these tee shirts!
Hope they give you a chuckle. :)
It doesn't have to be this way.
I found these online... I WANT these tee shirts!
Hope they give you a chuckle. :)
$26.99 @ www.funnycancershirts.com
$22.00 @ http://www.cafepress.com/
$22.00 @ http://www.cafepress.com Anybody reading this post... get me one of these tee shirts. I had cancer.
That's right. I used the Cancer card! Just kidding... :D
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